it's day 2 out of camp and needless to say, I've lapsed back into waking at 9 and sleeping at 12. Lazy indeed. In line with some secrecy oath, I can't say too much (don't wanna risk my weekends and more ^^) but NS has been ultimate fun, the physical, shooting rifles, marching drills, living int he same bunk with 14 other gung ho 19-year old guys. The only major disappointment has been my inability to find time (and more importantly, discipline) to read the bible and be a testimony there. Hopefully, the next 8-weeks won't have been already tainted by my horrible witness the last week. Reading people in camp is also equally exciting, identifying followers, alpha-males, lackadaisical bo-chaps and the determined. I figure, I'm gonna enjoy the remaining 8 weeks.

And at those rare quiet moments, I still think and wonder how you're doing.

 another day or 2 and i'm going to tekong. Needless to say, I don't feel really mentally prepared for it, neither do I feel physically prepared, but it'l still come anyway. I'm going to miss the free time, and perhaps i wish i entered in April, for various reasons, but entering in Feb has more long-term benefits i guess. Meeting up with all those old friends like Amanda has been absolutely delightful (accompanied with a British twang) and so has picking up as much as i can from Sebastian. This is a rather weird time to do some reflections, but for an 18 yr-old Singaporean Chinese XY homo-sapien, this is as apt a time as can be. JC life holds many regrets - note: MANY - but it has had its fair share of joy as well. IT's difficult to conclude whether i lived out the best JC life i could, but i sure hope i did. 

Got this off my OGL's blog, which kinda sums up what I've been feeling with regard to this area of life in the last 1.5yrs 
"i kinda miss the feeling of being in love, but i'm enjoying being single.
i miss having someone to spend time with, but i'm very relieved to have one less commitment right now.
and, i miss having someone to tell everything to. but i know if i want to, i have friends who are there for me just as much, if not more.
and i have God."
couldn't have put it better myself. 
copyright duly given of course.

 NS will be tumultuous, and my walk with Him will definitely be tested, but I am DETERMINED not to let myself fall away, not in will at least. but we all know I can't do it alone, can i? (: 

okay my mind is a blur after exercise so this reflection isn't THAT all introspective, just some momentary thoughts is all. 

lesson today with Sebastian was both inspiring and depressing. Inspiring because he encouraged me and told me i could get there, but depressing because i have no idea how to begin. Or at least i forgot how to. I never knew he was THAT good. But his demos just blew me away. Looks like i gotta practise harder.

I'm getting fat too, and with NS beckoning in 5 days, I'd better start training again (:

3 more weeks to NS, or 2 plus a bit more to be more exact. So far all I've done is to work work work and do sports, haven't even had time to sit down and do jazz studies or learn Greek. Looks like I will have no choice but to put them on hold for now. I thought the holidays would feel different from school, but in actual fact, no they don't. The only difference is that what we're busy about is far more temporal than what we were buried in during the term. OF course, I'm in my right mind, so I'd say I prefer this over mugging my head off. Truth be told however, I do miss H3 lessons and Chem lessons. 

Criminal Minds has been the latest craze, and it's real impressive to see the way they read body language, dissect handwriting, observe surroundings and detail. SOmeday I hope to wield such acute powers of observation. "since we're the only ones who know how and what they think, in order for us to apprehend them, what then separates us from such sadism?"

After 3 weeks of working and packing at the pharmacy, I have come to diagnose myself with some OCD. ^^

and it's been a rather impersonal 3-4 weeks, for the most part...

επηεσιανς 5:1 "γίνεσθε οὖν μιμηταὶ τοῦ θεοῦ, ὡς τέκνα ἀγαπητά"

 good job man. tonight's gonna be a rough night. just can't get to sleep and i've NO idea why..

Today, I'm grounded. Why? I forgot to send my mom a gift on Farmville. Sorry Mom. MLIA

seriously the most ownage mom ever (:

OMM concert was really really awesome! Sorry peach, for not staying back! really wished we could've at least met up for a bit before you swing off to US! ): Concert made me feel really nostalgic and wistful halfway through it, especially during Bernstein's "symphonic Dances from West Side Story". Reminded me of how awesome it is to play in an orchestra, the feeling of performing for 2h, giving off your best, faking together, nailing runs together. I'm gonna miss that ): perhaps i should aud for OMM? dunno, shouldn't do anything hasty at the moment.

i really have no idea what to do anymore

first day in phuket has gone pretty well, life has settled in to normal, well almost. Things are looking up more or less and it has been a really tiring day. Dinner on the first day was rather solid, and tons of ppl can't hold their chili xD tmr's outlet shopping, hope there are nike pro compression outfits. My purple finger's much better, and hopefully by the time i get back it heals. Zombieland is blasting in the background, and has finally ended. time to sleep bah (:

Today, my friend couldnt find her phone. She asked mystery google "where is my phone?" and the results came up as "ask Jesus.". She turned around, and her phone was on top of a bible. MLIA

WIN :D

nunoalpi has uploaded more precious videos! (: I found Esbjorn Svensson Trio and Joe Locke's Force of Four and JOnathan Kriesberg Group and Steve Swallow & Bohuslan Big Band. Which has been filling my ear since 9am (: so exciting!!!
RIP Esbjorn (: Your music is appreciated worldwide i'm sure, even here in Singapore..

Today while I was at work, I was answering the phones like I usually do. I usually have to put people on hold by saying "Hi, can I put you on hold?" While I was working the front desk, the most beautiful man I have ever seen walked in and came up to sign in. Having answered the phones all day and being completely smitten by the man's good looks, I looked at him and said "Hi, can I hold you?". He burst out laughing and gave me his number. MLIA.

not bad, MLIA is comparable to FML (:

Sherman's Lagoon is an awesome comic. I wonder if i'll be able to find it in bookstores. let's put that on my wishlist.

Tmr's the end. like SERIOUSLY THE END. and then there's SATs on saturday (pun not intended), prom too, double header for league on Sunday and off the Phuket. let's hope everything goes smu-thly.

serously, what's wrong with going on a holiday NOT using a trolley bag? can't a person have his idiosyncrasies? about time i started having them too.

Today has been somewhat satisfying, saddening, and tiring. on a happier note, i finally had the gumption to smother my phone with rhinestones, for the fun of it.

So it's bio mcq in 2 days and SATs in 4. How exciting!

D: U-WIsMad doesn't defer applications, which means i gotta apply in what 2011?, that is just horrible horrible ):

Lactic acid is probably one of the more irritating species of acid known to man :/

finally finished the dang UC applications. I decided to apply to Berkeley and San Diego, after realising it's 70 freaking bucks to apply to each school. SATs and Bio mcq coming up, so erm...exciting..heh before the phuket trip...

It's friggin due on monday. stress stress stress!

Am gonna buy myself COD4: Modern Warfare after the bio paper. It's about time i got a decent game instead of LieroX, which would have been decent except that the ruddy ninja rope doesn't work, WHICH TAKES THE FUN OUTTA THE WHOLE GAME!! At least the reviews for COD4 have been mostly positive, and my Mac should be able to run it (:

is a little lost now. Hope tmr's game goes alright :/

Psuedo-post As has been an exciting tiring affair (: It was nice seeing the juniors (those who were there at least) at training on monday, and refreshing on the 3 man drill. Looking forward to training tomorrow with them and the rest of the batch. Managed to grab some stuff for the proms at a steal today off Robinsons (: I think it looks pretty decent, i hope it does.

Oh yes, finally bought Joshua Redman's Elastic Band CD, after waiting for it for half a year. Their chemistry is just plain amazing.

I'm tired and thus dont have much to say, but i think life's a blur now.

after perusing through emails, old emails we sent while i was in cambridge, the time where u actually cared and were a friend (in the real sense of the word, not used loosely) i can only conclude most good things come to an end. This one did.

it was a tragedy of sorts. Essentially, policies didn't come out. NONE at all! Which equals a hamstrung dng. crap. I can only but trust Him to do that which i cannot. And of course hope that the bell curve turns out in my favour. Right now, the prospect of a B is quite real. Nightmare, i tell you.

4 more papers to go. 3 before the long break. 2 on Monday. 1 day before the next.
Let's go chumps (:

 and we try to fit a man into a God-sized hole in our heart. Obviously that does not work. Not ever.

so we're halfway through. and next week is half the load of this week (: i like!

Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways, acknowledge Him and He WILL make your path straight (: This is a striking, hard-hitting truth.

 Awesome. FOund the Navy SEAL workout plan online, which i shall attempt to start the week of the 23rd (: already, the first week is madness ><

A levels in 9 days. Econs BIo Econs Bio :/ am looking forward to the 23, which is in 3 weeks (: 

Prayer is an exercise of faith, a strong exercise. Gotta continue to put my faith in Him and look towards Him (:

hasn't passed, unlike what i thought. irritating.